One Large Coffee And A Lambo
by TheMinttu
Summary: Sam just can't get himself up in the morning without coffee and his escort is not impressed by the fact. Overreaction leads to vengeance. My first TF fic oops.
1. The Coffee

BEEP

_Disclaimer: __"Transformers" belongs to Hasbro, as much as I would like to own even a small part of them._

_A/N: Well hello. I'm a constant lurker here in the TF/Beast Wars section, but I never could bring myself to actually write anything related to the subject. I don't think I have the patience to do an__ything too time-consuming, but this was an idea that popped into my head in the middle of a conversation and… well, I thought why not? Behold my first TF fic! Read & review, please._

**One ****Large Coffee And A Lambo**

BEEP. BEEP. BEEP.

Sam Witwicky raised his head from his pillow and blindly fumbled at the direction of the irritating noise, grunting groggily as his hand connected painfully with the nightstand, but managed to grab his cell phone and end the alarm.

He cracked open an eye and peered at the screen. _Why is the alarm set this early? It's weekend, damnit_. After shoving the phone under his pillow, he plopped his head down on it and immediately drifted back to sleep.

Or he would have, if the little device hadn't started its beeping and buzzing again, this time taking on a more demanding tone and vibrating furiously into his ear.

"Shut up", Sam croaked, his voice hoarse from the sleep. Blinking the sleep from his eyes, he fished the phone from under the pillow again and stared at it. It wasn't the alarm after all – it was someone trying to call him. Well, whoever he or she was, could forget it. He was _not_ going to get up at seven o'clock in a Saturday morning to answer a prank call. Now slightly annoyed by the caller's persistence, he punched the button again, tossed the phone on the floor and tried to return to watch the nice dream he had been having before he had was so rudely interrupted.

But before his head could even touch the pillow again, Sam could swear his heart missed a beat as a very loud _HONK_ of a car sounded from the crack of the open window at the very same moment as the phone started buzzing and beeping once more. He was wide awake at once, shooting up from the bed and diving towards the cell phone.

"Oh God, Bumblebee?" Sam blurted as he hastily answered the call and scrambled up from the floor to run to the window and open the curtains. "I'm so sorry, I thought-"

"_Not this time, kid_", a snarky voice replied over the phone, making Sam blink in confusion. "_He's on a mission. And I'm supposed to be your_…" The voice paused, and then finished sourly: "…chauffeur. _So get your aft down here or I'll make you_."

Sam opened the window wider, stuck his head out and craned his neck to see to the driveway, holding the phone awkwardly to his ear. Instead of the familiar black-striped hood of a yellow Camaro, he saw a curvy, sleek, sunshine yellow Lamborghini sitting next to his father's car, engine purring softly and the glossy paintjob glimmering in the dim light of the morning.

"Sunstreaker?"

"_Who else would I be?_" the Lamborghini's voice said over the phone. The car's headlights flickered impatiently. "_I told you to come down. Prime wants you to see the new base._"

"But – that was supposed to be tomorrow."

"_Well, it seems we're moving in today. Don't be so fragging difficult and just hurry before your parental units wake up_."

"If they didn't already", Sam muttered mostly to himself and then spoke a bit louder: "All right, just give me a minute. Geez."

It took Sam only a few minutes to get dressed, check his reflection in the bathroom mirror and bolt downstairs as quietly as he could. Luckily, it looked like Sunstreaker's racket hadn't woken anyone up. His mother's Chihuahua Mojo lifted his head from his paws as Sam sneaked towards the front door, but went back to sleep in his chair as the boy paused to scratch his ear. Sam jumped at another sharp honk of a car horn from the driveway, gave a last pet to the small dog and silently exited the house.

The yellow Lamborghini Murciélago had already reversed from the driveway and was waiting for him at the pavement. The driver side door popped open as he approached the car. "Get in", the same voice crackled from the speakers, and Sam didn't stop to argue. During the weeks the Lamborghini twins had been on Earth, mostly through observation Sam had learned that Sunstreaker was not the bot he'd want to piss off. When in the company of his twin brother, he was sometimes almost fun and easygoing, but now a quick glance at both directions on the road told Sam that Sideswipe wasn't here.

"Where's Sides?" he asked cautiously as he got in and the door closed on its own. He was a bit unnerved by the situation – he had never driven with either of the twins, mostly because he had Bumblebee but also because their driving terrified him. He tugged at the seatbelt.

The car's engine growled as Sunstreaker started driving down the road. "With Prowl, putting the base together", he said curtly. The seatbelt Sam had been struggling with snapped into place. The yellow warrior seemed crankier than usual, and Sam took a second to wonder what or who might be the cause of that. He knew better than to just ask about it, so he just tried to force himself to relax, leaned back on the smooth leather seat and rubbed his eyes while stifling a yawn. "Why this early? I didn't even have time to get any coffee," he grumbled tiredly.

"Because I decided this early. If you have complaints, complain to Prime." Something resembling a huff sounded from the speakers. "Humans and their recharge patterns…"

"So where are we going?"

"The new base is outside Tranquility." The reply was as short as always.

Sam looked out of the window, recognizing the part of the town they were driving through. An idea formed in his head. "Could you take the next turn to left? There's something I gotta do."

"No", came the immediate answer, but he felt the car slow down anyway. "Why?"

He stifled another yawn. "If I don't get caffeine, I know I'll fall asleep before we get anywhere."

The seatbelt tightened warningly across his chest and the speakers crackled to life again. "You will _not_. I will not have a – an organic recharging inside me."

Sunstreaker's tone might have caused him to shut up and comply, but after enough time hanging out with the Autobots he knew that even the egotistical warrior had a weak spot. So instead he let a small smile creep into his face as he looked at the small Autobot insignia in the middle of the steering wheel.

"Who do you think Ratchet would blame if I collapsed from exhaustion and lack of proper sleep?"

There was no reply this time. The Lamborghini had slowed down to crawl. Sam waited patiently, a smug smile tugging at his lips. The car slid into a halt in the middle of the road and the door swung open almost violently. "Go get your slagging caffeine", Sunstreaker's voice groused as the seatbelt's buckle undid itself. "And wipe that smile off your face."

Triumphantly Sam climbed out of the flashy sports car and after seeing that besides Sunstreaker the road was free from traffic, he jogged across the street towards his favourite café. They sold heavenly lattes, but to get himself awake he might just need something with a bit more kick in it.

It did take some knocking on the windows to convince the already arrived owner to open the door for him, but eventually Sam got his double espresso. Almost hearing the impatient revving of Sunstreaker's engine, he hastily thanked the puffy-eyed café owner and hurried outside, cradling the cup in his hand.

The driver side door opened at the moment he stepped out of the building, but then Sunstreaker obviously spotted the coffee. Confused, Sam stopped in his tracks as the door snapped closed again. A shudder went through the Lamborghini and he growled menacingly. "Don't come near me with that", Sunstreaker said venomously. As if to emphasize his message, the locks clicked into place.

Sam frowned and glanced down at the cup. "What?"

"Are your audios glitched?" Sunstreaker hissed and reversed a little. "You will not drink – _that_ – inside me! It smells infernal and I'm absolutely sure it'll leave a stain!"

Sam stared. "It has a lid, don't worry. It won't spill."

"Why should I trust _you_? Why can't you just drink it here and now?"

"I thought we were in a hurry", Sam replied, taking a step towards him and sighing exasperatedly as he reversed again.

"You have thirty seconds to either drink it or pour it away."

"I can't drink it in thirty seconds, Sunny", Sam said, deliberately using the yellow warrior's nickname and taking on an exaggeratedly patient tone. "It's steaming hot and it'll burn my mouth. Then I won't even be able to talk and tell Ratchet what exactly happened."

There was a pregnant pause. Sam cocked an eyebrow and took a careful sip of his coffee, mentally doing a little self-satisfied jig of joy for having such an influence over the situation. He hid another flash of a smug grin behind his cup as the doors unlocked with a click and the door popped open again.

"Don't touch anything inside with those hands", Sunstreaker's voice growled ominously. "And if you spill even a _drop_ of that fluid, Witwicky, I'll make sure even the Hatchet won't be able to patch you up. _Are we clear?_"

"Crystal", Sam said lightly and slid into the driver's seat.

After they'd left the Tranquility suburbs, Sunstreaker had put on more speed, as if wanting to get rid of his passenger as quickly as possible. Neither of them had spoken a word during the whole trip, and that suited Sam just fine – he concentrated on sipping the hot liquid, keeping his elbows tugged in and carefully avoiding any touch with the spinning steering wheel or any of the interior. The coffee was stronger than he was used to, but it'd keep him awake for sure. Sunstreaker had his ventilation on full – no doubt trying to clear his interior of the smell of the coffee.

Sunstreaker's gruff voice broke the silence. "We're here", he said briefly, causing Sam to look up. They'd been driving an empty road pretty much in the middle of nowhere for a while now, but now just ahead of them he saw a set of large hangar-like building located on a low hill and shadowed by large rocks and a few tall trees. He even caught a glimpse of large figures moving around and gesturing to each other.

Sam looked down at his cup. He had almost finished it, but eventually had to admit to himself that the large coffee was starting to taste pretty bad now that it had cooled down. He cracked the lid open and saw that there was still a fair amount of espresso left at the bottom.

Sunstreaker turned to the road that led up the hill. Sam balanced the cup between his knees and reached to unbuckle the seatbelt, only to notice that he hadn't had it on in the first place. He'd been lucky they hadn't been stopped by a police patrol.

The yellow Lamborghini came to a stop once they reached the largest of the buildings. Sam watched in awe as the huge figure of Optimus Prime stood in the middle of the crescent-shaped yard the buildings formed, talking to the black and white bot that was Prowl. They both turned at the sound of Sunstreaker's brakes.

Sam turned in his seat too, preparing to hop out of the car once the door opened – with the mostly empty coffee cup held loosely in his hand.

He should have seen it coming, really.

If a car engine could sound delighted, that was exactly how the red blur that was Sideswipe in his alt form sounded like as he sped towards his yellow twin in insane speeds. Just before he could collide with Sunstreaker's rear bumper, he slammed on his brakes and screeched to a halt, allowing his side to nudge his brother with a playful manner.

"Morning, Sunny! How was the trip?" his cheerful voice sounded from Sunstreaker's stereos through their com link.

Sam did not pay attention to this. He was busy clutching at the crumpling, empty paper cup and staring at the brownish, lukewarm liquid dripping down on his hands, jeans, and as he realised in a state of deep horror, Sunstreaker's steering wheel and the leather seat.

He didn't dare to move an inch.

The passing seconds felt like an eternity. Then he snapped out of his initial shock as a tremble arose from the car's engine and the seat under him grew gradually warmer until it was painfully hot to touch.

Then suddenly the door swung open and the whole car tilted to the left, unceremoniously dumping him out.

"You fragging little GLITCH! GET _OUT! GET IF OFF! GET IF OFF OF ME!_"

Sam's eardrums protested at the volume of Sunstreaker's roaring. He regained some of his common sense and scrambled to his feet, turning to face the now visibly shaking yellow Lamborghini and beckpedaling rapidly towards where he last had seen Optimus. He saw that Sideswipe was wisely doing the same.

His heart got stuck in his throat as the suddenly very menacing yellow vehicle spun on his wheels, tires squealing and turned to completely face him. Sunstreaker revved furiously and crawled a few feet towards him. "You – _you_-", he growled, absolutely seething with rage and inching forwards as Sam let out an unwanted, very un-masculine whimper. "I told you NOT TO _SPILL IT!_"

"It wasn't my fault!" Sam tried, finding his voice again, cringing at Sunstreaker's fury. "Sides-"

"SILENCE! I'M GOING TO RUN YOU OVER FOR THIS, YOU BIT-BRAINED SON OF A GLITCH!" His engine revved again.

And then Optimus was there. The ground shook as he kneeled next to him and placed a protective hand between Sunstreaker's literally steaming form and the terrified Sam. "That's quite enough, Sunstreaker. Stand down."

"_No!_ He has RUINED ME!"

"Stand _down_", Optimus repeated, taking on the most commanding tone Sam had yet heard. Sam could still hear the angry growling on the yellow twin's engine, but at least he wasn't roaring anymore.

"What in the name of Primus is this about?" the familiar, angry voice reached Sam's ears. His head snapped to the direction of the voice and he spotted the bulky, green form of Ratchet standing near the doorway to one of the large hangars with his hands on his hips. His optics narrowed as he glowered at the fuming Sunstreaker. "What the slag have you done now?"

"I haven't done anything!" Sunstreaker shouted at the medic, his voice slightly panicking. "It's the fragging boy! He's ruined me!"

Ratchet stared at the yellow warrior for a moment, and by the way his optics were flickering, Sam could tell he was scanning. Then his trademark scowl appeared on his face. "It's just coffee, you overreacting glitch head. You can just wipe it off."

"I can feel it dripping on my dashboard!" Sunstreaker wailed.

"You're acting like a sparkling", Ratchet snarled, and then turned and gestured at him. "Come on, into the med bay. I'll wipe up your skidplates for you."

Clearly restraining himself from shooting back something equally insulting, Sunstreaker complied, grumbling to himself in Cybertronian. As he glided past Sam in his alt mode, however, he heard him growl at him: "This isn't over, Witwicky."

Sam mentally shuddered as Optimus lifted his hand and inquired if he was alright. No – knowing Sunstreaker, it definitely wasn't over.


	2. So It Begins

Optimus' offer to show him around the base was a welcome thing for Sam to get his mind off the unfortunate incident

_Disclaimer: "Transformers" belongs to Hasbro, as much as I woul__d like to own even a small part of them._

_A/N: Primus bless you all, so many reviews__, favourites and alerts! Gigaloads of thank yous and hugs for all of you! 8D I'm so happy this went so well. So, due to popular request, I DID decide to continue the story, because after the idea got comfortable in my mind, it was just too juicy to leave alone. Note that I'm a very irregular updater, so a new chapter now just means that I'm having fun and my muse is being particularly nice to me. I can't promise I'll be this fast in the future._

"Stop squirming, for Primus' sake!"

"But this is so _horrible_, Ratchet", Sunstreaker groaned and shifted on his shocks again. "I can still smell it! My interior is ruined _forever!"_

"Nobody gives a slag, Sunstreaker. It's just coffee, the smell will wear off. Now shut the frag up."

"How would you like if I dumped a cup of 'just coffee' inside _you, _Ratchet? I swear it left a stain. Did it leave a stain?"

The kneeling medic didn't even bother to answer.

Sunstreaker shuddered violently in his alt form. "I knew it!" he yelled. "It left a stain, didn't it?! I'm going to _kill_ that boy!"

"You lay one finger on Samuel Witwicky and you'll find your sorry aft in the brig in less than a nanosecond", Ratchet grumbled threateningly, but continued to rub at the coffee stains on Sunstreaker's dashboard.

"We don't have a brig, Doc."

"Yes we do", Ratchet replied pointedly. "Red Alert and Wheeljack put the finishing touches in it while you were away. A request by Prowl."

A silence. "Oh."

"Indeed", Ratchet said dryly. "Knowing you two Pit-spawns, I'm sure you get to know it very well very soon. Even sooner, if you keep this up."

Sunstreaker actually managed to sound insulted. "Why, Ratch. Wherever did you get such an obnoxious idea?"

"Call it a hunch", the CMO grunted. "Just keep your brother out of trouble. This base doesn't need his – pranks. We have more important things to concentrate on."

"Party pooper."

Ratchet briefly stopped cleaning up Sunstreaker's steering wheel. "What?" he asked after a moment, puzzlement clear in his voice.

"The Internet, Ratch. Use it."

Soon Ratchet huffed in a very human manner and continued his work without a comment. "And you I expect to go and apologize to both Prime and Sam for your behaviour", he then broke the silence, changing the subject before the Lambo could add another witty remark.

"_What?_" Sunstreaker shouted, his voice a mixture of disbelief and anger. "How can you blame me? I didn't do anything, Ratch! I shouldn't be the one doing the apologizing!"

The green medic scowled and suddenly stood up. "Suit yourself", he snarled and threw the rag he'd been scrubbing the coffee with onto the yellow Lamborghini's hood. Sunstreaker recoiled as if trying to avoid the contact. "Frag", he cursed. "Ratch-"

"Don't 'Ratch' me", the medic interrupted the warrior, his optics flaring dangerously. "If you're just going to act like a big sparkling, you may as well get out of my med bay at this second." Then he folded his arms across his chest and waited, staring down at the Lambo.

The yellow sports car did not budge.

Ratchet's hand flew back, reaching to grab the large mech-sized wrench lying on a table behind him.

Sunstreaker's engine sputtered. "All right! I'm going, I'm going!" he exclaimed with a hint of panic in his tone, hastily reversing from the medic's reach towards the med bay door, but stopped within a small distance. "What about my interior?"

Ratchet's scowl deepened and he raised the wrench, taking aim at the Lamborghini.

"Doc! Not the finish!" Sunstreaker yelled, and since it looked like he had already lost the game, transformed. Once in his bipedal form, he crouched and prepared to dodge the inevitable projectile flung at his way, but was just a moment too late. The wrench connected with the side of his head with a loud resonating _CLANG_, forcing a surprised cry from Sunstreaker's vocalizer.

"OW! What the frag, Ratchet?"

"_Out!_" the grouchy medic snarled, his hand already looking for something else to throw. "Get out or I'll weld your aft to the ceiling!"

"Don't you think it's a bit too early for that…? No, wait! All right!" Sunstreaker scurried towards the med bay door as Ratchet's hand came to hover ominously on the arc welder. "I got it!" Shielding the spot where the wrench had struck him with a hand, he slipped out of the door.

As the immediate danger of physical harm was gone, he could concentrate on the matter of the lingering smell of coffee. An angry scowl worked its way to Sunstreaker's face as his sensors picked up the odour. He could probably try to scrub the remaining small amount of coffee inside him by himself, but first, he had something to take care of.

A predatory, almost sadistic grin lit up his faceplates.

After all, Ratchet _had_ wanted him to apologize.

-Sam had been given a complete tour around the base. The largest of the hangars, the command center, was already fully operational, closely followed by the next one that included the living quarters, the rec room and a small human-sized lounge for guests. In the same building where Ratchet's med bay was in (maybe a lucky coincidence, but more likely a precaution by Prowl), Ironhide and Wheeljack were busying themselves by reinforcing the walls of Wheeljack's lab – just for good measure, as Wheeljack informed Sam, his headfins flashing cheerfully.

Optimus even showed him the last of the three structures, which had been converted into a communication and security monitoring center. However, neither of them could get past the front door because Red Alert insisted that no one should enter before he had finished installing the last of the security cameras, all the time glowering at Sam with narrowed optics. It had taken Optimus a while to convince the paranoid Security Director that Sam was not, in fact, a Decepticon spy when he had first met the human boy. Sam was still not sure that he still had the red and white Autobot's complete trust.

Now Sam was back at the living quarters, having gained Optimus' permission to hang around and check out the new base on his own while waiting for Bumblebee to arrive from whatever mission he was on. Right away he had headed for the human lounge that was surprisingly well and thoughtfully furnished. 'Bee knew more of human society and conveniences than anyone else in the base so Sam suspected he had something to do with it. He'd have to remember to thank his Camaro friend when he got back.

The day was growing gradually sunnier and warmer outside, which Sam soon discovered as the temperature inside the building started to climb into uncomfortable levels, and the sheer amount of metal all around didn't exactly help the situation. _Don't they have ventilation in here?_ he thought exasperatedly, removing his long-sleeved shirt and throwing it in a chair in the lounge.

Finally having enough of the sultry atmosphere, Sam decided to head out to get some fresh air. Idly strolling through the huge hall he made his way out of the large door and walked along the wall, heading into the shade of the building.

He reached the corner, rounded it and froze.

A bright yellow Lamborghini sat there silently, parked in the cool shade just around the corner.

Sam stared, feeling how his pulse spiked rapidly. _Just walk away_, he though feverishly. _Don't pay attention_. But still he didn't move and just stood there, staring at the car's darkened windshield. There was yet no sign at all that Sunstreaker had noticed him. Only, Sam knew he had.

"Hello", Sunstreaker's low, growling voice drifted from his speakers as his engine purred into life. He almost chuckled maliciously as he ran a quick scan over the boy's frozen figure and saw how his stress levels had increased. "I've been… looking for you."

Sam made a valiant attempt at trying to sound nonchalant. "Really?" he shot back. "What for?" To be completely honest, he didn't really want to know. His insides felt like one big icy lump and he swallowed. _Geez – this guy is scarier than Barricade._

Sunstreaker grinned mentally but said nothing, and instead started his transforming sequence. Sam couldn't help but jump back as the Lamborghini arranged himself into his bipedal form. The bright blue, almost white optics bored into him as the yellow warrior stood in his full height and pinned the human down with his stare. Sam shivered involuntarily as Sunstreaker came down to one knee, metal creaking and gears and parts clicking.

"Oh, nothing much", Sunstreaker said with a plain creepy smile hovering on his face. Then suddenly it disappeared entirely as he bent lower over Sam and was replaced by a deadpan expression which Sam could only describe as the calm before the storm.

"I had a fun little chat with Doctor Hatchet", the yellow warrior growled quietly, nailing the human with his unbreakable glare. He brought his face even closer to Sam, deliberately lowering a hand on the ground right next to him. Sam flinched. Sunstreaker left the sentence hanging for a moment, just to watch him squirm. Then he continued: "He seems to think that I owe you an _apology_." He paused again to move a few inches closer. "Isn't that just so _sweet of him?_" he hissed.

Sam goggled at the intimidating mech looming so menacingly over him, and suddenly felt very small and weak. Whatever impression that face was supposed to give him, it certainly did not suggest that Sunstreaker found much anything _sweet_ at the moment.

"Imagine that", Sam said nervously, his voice cracking a little. Was that _coffee_ he smelt?

Sunstreaker's optics flared and a ferocious scowl twisted his faceplates. "_So_, Witwicky", he hissed dangerously, his optics narrowing into slits and boring into Sam's eyes as if trying to drill a hole through his skull. "I am here to tell you…" he leaned an inch closer to him, "…that I'm very…" his voice lowered into a deep rumble, "…truly…" he practically seethed into the terrified boy's face, "…_sorry_", he bit out the last word, now holding Sam's absolutely undivided attention.

They stared at each other.

Sam's heart hammered in his chest. His throat felt very dry, and he swallowed again, feeling a strong urge to say something.

"Uh", he began.

"_Yes?_" Sunstreaker never broke the eye-optic contact.

Sam cleared his throat. "Uh", he repeated, badly unnerved by the Lambo's serious invasion of his personal space. "Apology accepted?" he offered weakly.

A growl arose deep from Sunstreaker's chest and his right hand that rested on the asphalt next to Sam curled into a fist. Sam let out a weird "eep" sound and instinctively backed up a few steps as the yellow Autobot rose up without a word, shot one last glare at him and stomped away from the building's shade, leaving Sam gaping and steadying his erratic heartbeat.

Sunstreaker was fuming. So, the Witwicky boy thought he had won? He might be Optimus' little pet, but he wasn't going to fool him. Harbouring these dark schemes of his Sunstreaker headed straight to the command center, determined to find Prowl. Where was Prowl, there was his trouble-making twin.

Heads turned to him as he stormed in the large hangar. Ignoring the surprised glances he got from Ironhide, Wheeljack and Prowl, his optics searched for his brother and soon found him playing with one of Red Alert's security cameras. Unceremoniously Sunstreaker walked up to him, grabbed him from the base of his neck and dragged the protesting red Lambo out of the camera's range, lowering his voice to a husky whisper.

"Sides, I need your help."


	3. Double Trouble

Disclaimer: "Transformers" belongs to Hasbro, as much as I would like to own even a small part of them

_Disclaimer: "Transformers" belongs to Hasbro, as much as I would like to own even a small part of them._

_A/N: __I've noticed that when I put chapters up here, they somehow change in the process – words move around, all the lines/marks dividing the scenes are removed (I remember someone might have mentioned this – not my fault, really, I don't know what's doing it) and random slabs of text appear in the beginning. Why? That makes the thing harder to read._

_And again, thank you for the favs and alerts :)_

0000000000

Finally, Red Alert had completed his installing of the security network.

The Security Director was seated in the front of three massive monitors that received the images from every single camera in their new base. One of them showed an overview of the command center, where Optimus Prime was going through reports. The next one was currently giving a wide view of the rec room, where Prowl, Ironhide and Wheeljack had gone to take a break.

The sight made Red Alert frown in annoyance. While they were slacking off, just about anyone could be able to freely infiltrate the base. He had never approved of Optimus' choice for the base's location – it was in plain sight, and far too open to monitor properly. If it hadn't been for him and his precautions, the Decepticons could come waltzing in without being noticed.

Oh, they'd be so in trouble without him.

The red and white SAR vehicle turned his attention to the last of the monitors that showed the visual to the guest lounge. Red Alert still thought that his leader's blind trust in the suspicious little human was absolutely ridiculous. Like all the new arrivals, he'd been thoroughly briefed of everything that had occurred at Hoover Dam and in Mission City. He also had learned of what had happened to Bumblebee, and the knowledge only strengthened his belief that the humans could not be trusted. Jazz had already fallen due to their meddling.

Punching a few buttons on the control pad, he let to camera rotate slowly until the human came into view, standing near the doorway and casually leaning to the wall. Red stopped the motion and watched as the human talked into the communication device he called a "cell phone".

Red Alert's optics narrowed. This wasn't good. No, he didn't like this at all. No transmission should leave the base without his or Optimus' knowledge and approval! He made a mental note to himself to bring that up next time he spoke with Optimus.

As for now, the best he could do to fill his duties was to keep a close optic on the kid.

0000000000

Sam sat in one of the couches of the human lounge, observing as the security camera on the corner of the ceiling buzzed and swept slowly over the room, finally stopping at him. It remained still for almost a minute before starting to rotate again. It had been doing that since Sam had re-entered the room. He just stared at the thing, slightly annoyed. The knowledge that the Security Director could be watching his every move made him feel uneasy.

To get his mind off the camera, Sam tried to think something else. An hour or a little more had already passed since Optimus had unexpectedly contacted him by his cell phone (Sam was sure that he would never get used to picking up the phone and hearing Optimus' deep voice on the line) and announced that Bumblebee was on his way to the base. On his way from where, Sam had no idea, but had called his parents nonetheless, telling them that he was "hanging out with Miles" and that he'd be home sometime in the evening.

His thought started drifting towards the subject of what the hell had happened outside with Sunstreaker. The yellow warrior had just stormed off without a word after apologizing – apologizing! Sunstreaker never apologized! – looking quite ready to punch something.

Sam had been scared of Megatron all right, but Sunstreaker didn't come far behind.

He listened to the noises from the rec room with a half of an ear. The warble of Cybertronian discussion and occasional heavy metallic footsteps morphed into a constant buzz on the background, mixing into the camera's sounds as it moved around. The Autobots had been working the whole last night to get the base into shape and they deserved a break and a refueling.

_The damn camera_. Experimentally Sam shifted his feet from the couch to the floor. The lens immediately snapped to him. He glowered at it.

"_Ladies and gentleman please_

_Would you bring your attention to me?"_

"Whoa!" The sudden burst of music from a car's speakers made Sam jump and turn to face the lounge's Autobot-sized door. When his eyes caught a flash of bright yellow paint, his elbow slipped from the couch's armrest and he toppled over to the floor. Quickly he scrambled back up and peered over the couch, dreading to see Sunstreaker again. _What would he want with me anymore?_

Friendly, blue optics were looking at him from the hall. The arrived bot raised a hand and gave a small wave as he noticed that the human was watching.

Recognizing the yellow bot, Sam laughed. "'Bee!" he exclaimed, and then looked embarrassed. "Man, sorry, you just startled me is all – I thought you were Sunny."

Being one of the shorter Autobots, Bumblebee was able to stand inside the lounge without having to bend down. He stepped in, confusion written clearly on his face. "Sunstreaker?" he rasped, his voice still cracking and breaking. Ratchet had forbidden him to put strain on his vocal processor before they were completely healed, but Bumblebee didn't seem to care too much.

"Yeah. Have you seen him, by any chance?"

"No, I haven't. I reported to Prime when I returned and then came straight here." The confused frown on Bumblebee's faceplates became more pronounced. "Why?"

Sam pondered that for a moment and then sighed, plopping back into the couch. "Nothing, I guess. It's not a big deal anyway. So, how was your mission?" he asked, trying to change the subject.

"Sam…"

"I told you it's not a big deal. Ask Sides or someone. Good to have you back, 'Bee."

Seeing that his charge was trying to drop the subject, Bumblebee let it go and sighed through his vents, a habit he'd picked up from the humans and said: "It's good to be back. I was about to head to the rec room for a refueling – I heard Wheeljack has been successful in synthesizing a new blend of Energon." The Camaro lowered a hand towards his human. "Do you wish to accompany me?"

Sam grinned widely and jumped over the couch. "If you're sure it won't explode."

"_Click, Click, Boom!"_

"You really like that band, don't you."

0000000000

"_You cannot be serious."_

"_I am."_

"_He's only a human. Don't you think that's a bit… over the top?"_

"_No. Get on with it."_

The private com link was static for a moment. "_You know I'm not going to take the blame if you get busted._"

"_I didn't expect you to. __Just cut the slagging cable already!"_

"_Sunny_…"

"_Shut up or I'll tell the Hatchet that you stole __his pliers."_

This time the following static had a shocked tone to it. "_But I didn't!_"

"_Yes, Sides, you did."_

"_But you threatened me", _Sideswipe whined through the com link._ "That's different!"_

"_Cut the cable _now_ and I won't say a word_."

The link was silent again, until Sideswipe spoke, attempting a diplomatic tone: "_This could get out of hand way too easily, Sunny._"

"_That's it__. I'm coming there."_

"_C__utting! I'm cutting!"_

0000000000

During an hour the human had replaced himself from the doorway into one of the couches, but had not received or sent any more transmissions with his communication device. Among his other duties, Red Alert kept observing the boy on one of his monitors.

After a while the human had obviously become aware of the camera and had started staring. Red Alert found this highly suspicious and focused the camera on the organic, determined to not let the slightest movement escape him.

But other than changing his position in the couch once in a while, the human hadn't done much anything aside from glaring at the security camera. Eventually Red had grown tired of staring back, and had returned to watching his comrades in the rec room and the outside grounds for possible intruders. He only saw Sunstreaker out in the sun, cursing and trying to scrub something off his armor.

A flicker in the visual feed of the human lounge's camera caught his attention. His optics immediately snapped back to the monitor. The human was gone. Red stared in disbelief. How could that have avoided him? Could it be a technical glitch? His cameras never malfunctioned!

There it was again. The visual showed static for a second before flickering back on once more.

A spark flared from the hypersensitive circuitry on the side of Red's cranial unit as his processor generated tens of scenarios of what could be going on.

Then the feed from the lounge disconnected completely.

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Though having heard of it many times, Sam had never actually seen how Energon really was like. As such, he found it extremely fascinating to see the big, lightly humming contraption that was the Energon dispenser in the corner of the rec room. Bumblebee deposited him onto one of the large tables that occupied the majority of the large room and demonstrated how the dispenser worked.

He goggled in wonder as the Camaro held up a transparent cube size of a children's swimming pool and pushed a button in the machine. A flow of slightly translucent, purple-tinted liquid burst from the tap on the dispenser's side and filled about a half of Bumblebee's cube.

"Wow", Sam breathed as his guardian lowered the cube to let him have a better look at the Energon that was almost glowing and radiating something that made his skin tingle. "It didn't detonate."

"Of course it didn't", drifted Wheeljack's somewhat hurt voice from a table behind them where he was sitting with Ironhide and his own ration of Energon. "I wouldn't bring an unstable invention out in the public."

"Because that's not like you at all", Ironhide grunted to the engineer and briefly nodded to Bumblebee who joined them in the table.

"Exactly", Wheeljack said, obviously missing the sarcasm. "Even Ratchet says that it's perfectly functional." Then he cast a worried look on Sam who was curiously watching the liquid's surface. "I wouldn't recommend you to touch it, though. It's kept in the containers for a reason. We – Ratchet and I – yet do not know what effect it might have in organics." He seemed to think for a moment. "A pity he couldn't come and test the Energon with me. Apparently some of his tools have gone missing and he won't rest until he finds them." He looked back into his Energon with a hint of pride in his optics. "This came out surprisingly well, even if I say so myself."

"Right. Sorry", Sam said and put his hands behind his back. He sat down on the table near Bumblebee and looked around in the room, noticing only Prowl sitting alone with his Energon and a small pile of datapads.

"Why's he sitting alone?" Sam asked, lowering his voice so the stoic tactician couldn't hear him.

Ironhide smirked at the human and rumbled: "No need to whisper, kid. Prowl's probably gone and offlined his audios because he thinks we made too much noise and he couldn't concentrate on his work."

After figuring out what the black Autobot meant by his technical jargon, Sam found the thought amusing. "Sweet. You mean", he snickered, throwing a sideways glance at the 2IC, "that I could go saying things like 'Prowl is an uptight prick' and he couldn't hear me?"

His trail of thought broke as Prowl stiffly lifted his optics from the datapad he'd been reading and levelled him with a long, steady look.

Bumblebee mimicked a facepalm, causing Wheeljack to sputter a laugh into his Energon. Sam's smile faded and he opened his mouth, feeling that he should say something, but couldn't just figure out what. He looked accusingly at Ironhide. "You said he couldn't hear me!" he hissed up at the weapons specialist.

Ironhide merely grinned wider in response. "Never said anything like that", he chuckled and chugged down the rest of his Energon. "You gotta learn to listen, kid."

"I do listen – 'Bee, he's looking at me. Can he hear me now?"

Bumblebee sounded like he had hard time containing his amusement. "Yes, Sam, he can."

"Oh, no – sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't-"

"Sam, just don't say anything", Bumblebee advised his charge who almost had started babbling. Prowl didn't acknowledge the apology in any way and continued to inspect the human with a slight disapproving frown on his brow.

"Not funny", Sam muttered, but obeyed and fell silent, trying to make himself as small and invisible as possible.

However, that turned out to be unnecessary and ineffective as the Autobots' paranoid Security Director chose that very moment to arrive, scanning the room for something with narrowed optics.

"Red! Good to see you taking a break once in a while", Wheeljack greeted his fellow Autobot jovially, headfins flashing. "Get some Energon and have a seat."

Red Alert ignored Wheeljack's invitation, his optics still searching. As he finally noticed Sam sitting on the table, he scowled in a very Ratchet-like manner and walked up to him.

"What did you do?" he demanded bluntly from the human.

Sam looked up at him confusedly. "Uh… I don't know. What did I do?"

Red folded his arms. "Don't play games with me, human", he warned, and Sam was pretty sure he saw a spark fly from his head. "The visual feed from the camera in the lounge disappeared five and a half minutes ago. You were the only one there at the time. What do you have to say for your defence?"

"I – what?" Sam stammered incredulously, instinctively shuffling sideways closer to Bumblebee's hand. "How does that make me guilty of anything?"

"Don't act stupid! I know you have something to do with it", Red Alert accused, unfolding his arms and bending lower to look at the human's face. "I know your kind, boy… I've seen how you sneak around, trying to get on everyone's better side. Well, I can tell you one thing, little spy-"

Red Alert never got to finish his sentence, because Prowl had obviously decided that their Security Director had gone far enough. "Red Alert, what in the name of Primus are you doing?" he asked firmly, standing up from his chair and making his way over to them.

"My job", Red replied rigidly, frustrated of the interruption.

"Then get to work. If there's a malfunctioning link in the security network, you are expected to deal with it."

"That is exactly what I'm doing, Prowl!"

"_That's 'sir', Red Alert_", Prowl corrected coolly, fluently switching in Cybertronian, his serious expression never faltering. "_What you are doing is threatening our friend and ally. I cannot accept this kind of behaviour_."

"_But he's a spy! The humans are not our allies, they can't be trusted!_" countered Red Alert, using Cybertronian as well. "…_sir_", he then added grudgingly.

Their audience suddenly came to life. "_That's my charge you're talking about_", Bumblebee said quietly.

"_You've fried your logic chips again, Red_", Ironhide grumbled.

"_Maybe I could take a look at them?_" Wheeljack offered. "_I know Ratchet can be a bit grouchy on busy days like this and unless you want a dent in your cranium_…"

"_But-"_

Prowl interrupted Red again. "_No. Return to your duties_."

Red fell quiet, threw an utterly distrustful glare at Sam and simply stormed off, leaving everyone staring after him in some state of quiet surprise.

Sam broke the silence. "That was – thank you, I guess", he said uncertainly and glanced up at the 2IC.

Prowl merely gave him that long look of his. "Sometimes being an uptight prick comes in handy", he said, turned and marched back to his table, continuing to read the datapads where he had stopped.

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"_Did you get it?_" Sideswipe's voice crackled from Sunstreaker's com link.

"_Not yet__. What's Red doing?"_

"_Threatening the kid. Looks like he thinks he's a Decepticon spy or something_."

"_Perfect_", Sunstreaker almost purred.

"_Sunny, don't you think this is too cruel? You know how Red can be like_."

"_I'm counting on Red to be how he can be like_."

"_Um… whatever. Hurry up, though – I don't know how long it'll take him to find the cable."_

"_Hold your horses. I'll be out in a minute."_

"_Horses?"_

"_Internet, Sides."_

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_A/N: __Had to cut it there, this chapter was getting disturbingly long and even I have to get some sleep, you know._

_The songs are "Ladies And Gentleman" and "Click Click Boom" by Saliva._


	4. A Bad Omen?

Disclaimer: "Transformers" belongs to Hasbro, as much as I would like to own even a small part of them

_Disclaimer: "Transformers" belongs to Hasbro, as much as I would like to own even a small part of them._

_A/N: Again, I thank you all who have reviewed and faved. :) I probably would have posted this sooner, but I lost my memory stick where this chapter was (luckily, found it earlier today). This one's a bit longer than the others… Also, my finals are getting closer and I'll have to start concentrating on them. Expect updates, but not very often._

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Sideswipe stared.

"Sunny… I know I don't say this very often, but this time I gotta hand it to you. You're a genius."

Sunstreaker couldn't help the small smug smile that crept to his face. "Yes. Yes, I am."

Sideswipe leaned closer to the monitor. "This is so fun", he announced happily, a mischievous glint in his optics. "Can you imagine the possibilities of this?"

The twins were huddled together in front of a computer inside their shared quarters. It showed a picture of the communication center and its large screens that projected the surveillance feed from all parts of the base. Unfortunately, the view was from an awkward angle and partially obscured by the chair Red Alert used to sit in.

"Though you could have picked a better spot for the spy camera", Sideswipe murmured.

He earned a glare from his yellow brother. "I didn't exactly have the time to be picky. It serves its purpose well enough." Sunstreaker turned back to look at the empty communication center again. "I wonder why Red hasn't installed any cameras in his own office."

"Maybe he just doesn't like to be watched. How long do you suppose it'll take him to realize what we did?"

"Who? Red or the runt?"

"Red."

"What _you_ did, Sideswipe", Sunstreaker reminded pointedly.

Sideswipe frowned at him. "You're mean. We're partners in crime now, you know."

"I haven't done anything worth punishing yet", Sunstreaker said with that self-satisfied smirk and leaned back on his chair. "So far, it's been only you who has planted the jammer in the camera network. And you'd better have planted it well – pray to Primus that Red won't find it or Prowl will ditch you in the brig."

"We don't have a brig."

"Prowl made sure that we do."

"Slag."

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A yellow Camaro sat parked outside in the command center's shade, a human boy laying on its warm hood and facing towards the road even though his eyes were closed. The soothing wind of a late summer swept over the yard and ruffled his messy hair.

Sam had been there for almost an hour now, ever since Optimus had sent Ironhide to fetch Will Lennox and his family from the airport. Ratchet had also volunteered to go and get Mikaela from Tranquility and to vent some frustration over the fact that he just couldn't find his missing tools. Sam hoped that she would understand to bring some essential supplies to the lounge room. _Like a coffeemaker_, he thought dreamily. _Gotta keep it away from Sunny, though_.

He couldn't tell if he dozed off on Bumblebee's hood, the car motionless beneath him. After some time that could be seconds or minutes, he was awoken by a soft purr of the Camaro's engine.

"They're coming."

"What? Who?" Sam sprang up somewhat groggily and almost tumbled off the car.

"It's Ratchet", Bumblebee replied. "He has Mikaela with him."

"Great", Sam yawned, stretched and slid off the hood. "I'll get to show her around the base."

"Sam", Bumblebee's voice that drifted from his speakers sounded slightly worried, "has your recharge cycle been disrupted? Your energy levels are running disturbingly low. Should I get Ratchet to have a look at you?"

Saw waved him off, blinking towards the road where a trail of dust told of an approaching car. "Thanks for the concern, 'Bee, but it's normal for humans, usually."

"Normal?" Bumblebee wondered aloud, and Sam nodded. "If you say so… here they come."

The CMO's bulky Hummer alt mode headed towards them. Sam saw a hand waving from the car's window at him, and he smiled. The summer had been good for his and Mikaela's relationship, and even though because of school they didn't get to spend as much time with each other as during the vacation, they enjoyed every moment they could be together.

Bumblebee shook under his hand, as if laughing. "Quiet, you", Sam grinned at his guardian and swatted his hood playfully.

Once the SAR Hummer had come to a halt, the driver side door opened and Mikaela hopped out, smiling broadly. "Hi, Sam", she said. "Fancy seeing you here." Her long dark hair was tied in a ponytail and her skin was as sun-kissed as ever. Only her blue eyes seemed to be sparkling brighter than before.

Sam still couldn't get over what a lucky guy he was.

"Mikaela", Ratchet said loud enough to cut off any greeting Sam might have had in response. "Before you two start socializing, please remove these 'supplies' of yours from inside me. I'm unable to transform."

"Sure, Ratchet." Mikaela went to the medic's passenger side door which had opened by its own accord, reached in and started tugging and pulling at the big, heavy sports bag there. Sam hurried to assist her. "What's this, 'Kaela?" he asked curiously, heaving the bag out of Ratchet, who instantly closed the door, backed away and started to transform.

"Supplies", Mikaela said vaguely, stretching her back and grimacing when she heard it pop. "I hear Will and his family are going to stay here for the night, so I thought maybe we could keep them company."

"They haven't arrived yet", Sam said, his attention on the bulging sports bag. "You didn't happen to bring coffee with you, did you?"

"No. Why? You know I don't like coffee."

"Just a thought", Sam replied sadly, looked up but flinched as he saw Ratchet in his bipedal form crouching behind Mikaela and staring at him. His optics were again flickering in a telltale way.

"Sam", the CMO said in the firm matter-of-fact tone that he used when addressing patients, "my scanners indicate that your energy levels are considerably lower than they should be at this time of your online cycle."

Sam understood that as a question and gave a resigned sigh. "No, Ratch", he started explaining patiently, patience being a major asset when trying to explain things to giant alien robots. "I'm not sick or in danger to keel over at any moment now. It's a common thing to feel a little tired now and then. No – no, Ratch, stop scanning!" Sam raised his hands to shield himself from the medic's intense gaze (as if it really helped). "I said I'm fine!"

"Hmm", Ratchet hummed. It was the kind of "hmm" that doctors always gave the patients on a checkup. "Maybe Mikaela's idea that you'd all stay for the night isn't that bad. I could monitor your sleep and make sure you get your energy back to an acceptable level."

Mikaela giggled. Apparently she could find some humor in this – Sam felt mostly embarrassed. He didn't need a baby-sitter! He frowned up at the medic. "Seriously – it's not a big deal."

"In my opinion as the Chief Medical Officer, we can't be too careful." Ratchet had stopped scanning, but was still regarding Sam steadily. "Especially after what happened in Mission City."

"You're overreacting. That was months ago."

Ratchet's optics narrowed. "I do _not_ overreact", he snapped. "Drop the tough guy act and don't tell me how to do my job, _kid_."

"'_Bee_", Sam whined, seeking support from his friend.

The car vibrated from silent laughter again. "After all this time, you should know better than to cross Ratchet when he's wearing that expression, Sam."

"Mute it, youngling", Ratchet commanded, sending a glare in Bumblebee's direction. The Camaro slunk back sheepishly. "Primus help you if you frag that vocal processor again."

"_Oops! I did it again…"_

Sam groaned. "'Bee, _please._"

"Oh, come on, Sam", Mikaela laughed, taking one of the bag's straps and gesturing him to take the other one. "It's been ages since we last saw the Lennoxes. It'll be fun!"

"Just don't argue about it anymore", Ratchet grumbled and stood up. "I'm having a fragged up day as it is."

Defeated, Sam mumbled his agreement and something about calling his parents. Then he grabbed the hefty bag with Mikaela. "Bumblebee, open up. This thing weighs a ton and there's no way I'm dragging it all the way to our place."

As Sam and Mikaela hurled the bag into Bumblebee's backseat, Ratchet fixed his stare into midair, as if listening intently. Then he glanced down at the humans who by now were giving him strange looks. "A transmission from Ironhide", he explained. "He's bringing in the Lennox family, ETA approximately thirty-two Earth minutes. You, Mikaela, will have the time to settle into the human quarters and Sam may show you around if needed. I believe Captain Lennox will want to see you both when he arrives."

"Roger that, Ratch." Sam flashed a grin.

"We'll be there. Thanks for the lift, Ratchet."

Ratchet nodded curtly. "Good", he just said and turned, heading for his med bay. "Now where did those two hellions disappear again? I can feel it in my gears they're up to no good…"

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"_Prowl to Red Alert."_

"_Red Alert here. Sir."_

"_Captain Lennox, his bonded and their sparkling will be arriving shortly. Find the twins, explain that to them and tell them to go with Optimus to meet them outside. Sam Witwicky and his… mate, Mikaela Banes, will be there too."_

Red was already flipping through the cameras, looking for the Lambo twins. "_They are in the rec room. Should I make it an order?"_

"_Yes. According to Ratchet they shouldn't have any urgent duties to attend to at the moment_." There was a pause at the other end. "_And for Primus' sake, tell them to behave themselves_."

"_Understood. Red Alert out."_

"_Prowl out_."

The link closed with a click. Before trying to contact the twins, Red Alert took a moment to wallow in his disbelief. _More humans?_ How many knew about the base anyway? It required only one blabbermouth… it was way too risky. Why could nobody see it?

Looks like his job just got a tad harder.

Resentfully he opened the com link. "_Red Alert to Sideswipe and Sunstreaker_…"

0000000000

"_Is that his femme?"_

If he could do that in his car mode, Sunstreaker would have rolled his optics in an exasperated manner. _"Yes, Sides, it is",_ he replied through the private link.

The two Lamborghinis were in their alt modes, waiting side-by-side for the weapons specialist and his cargo to arrive. Bumblebee was there too, his charge and Mikaela Banes sitting on his vehicle form's hood enjoying the late afternoon sun, casually holding hands and chatting light-heartedly. Sam was doing an admirable job in ignoring the twins at the edge of his vision and keeping his eyes fixed on the road and occasionally, on Mikaela. Of course, he wasn't fooling either of the twins, but they weren't stupid enough to do anything in front of Bumblebee.

Sideswipe's scanners went briefly over the female. "_But it's so_ small."

"_They all are. And it's a 'she'._"

"_Have you ever met this 'Captain Lennox' before?_"

"_No. Everyone else has been here longer than us_." Sunstreaker paused, and then continued, the smirk audible in his voice: "_I hear Ironhide holds him in high regard. Captain Lennox and his team took Blackout down in Mission City."_

_"A human?" _Sideswipe sounded incredulous, but also slightly curious. "_I think I'm going to like him._"

"_Ironhide's here_", Sunstreaker said distractedly, his scanners sweeping the road that led to the base.

"_Great_", Sideswipe said cheerfully.

Sunstreaker revved his engine, causing the humans to throw a glance at his direction – Mikaela surprised, Sam nervous. "_What are you being so fragging excited for?_" the yellow Lamborghini asked his brother, irritated. "_I could think of dozens of things I'd be rather doing. Especially when the kid's here, too_." His engine growled, and Sam quickly faced forwards again. "_Trying to act as if he hasn't done anything, the little slagger_..."

"_Tone it down, Sunny_", Sideswipe warned. "_Not in front of 'Bee. Or Ironhide, for that matter._"

They both fell silent and observed motionless as the humans got to their feet, watching the black Topkick as it drove up the road towards the waiting welcome committee.

"_Where the frag is Optimus?_" Sunstreaker grumbled as Ironhide's doors popped open and Captain Lennox climbed out, greeting Sam and Mikaela with a grin and a friendly handshake. Just another human thing the twins couldn't comprehend. They exchanged some words and then went to unloading Ironhide from their luggage, while Mikaela hurried to help Sarah to struggle something out of the front seat.

Sideswipe was already running his scanner over the Captain and his family. "Ironhide", he suddenly said aloud, laughter in his voice. "What is _that?_"

The Topkick's engine rumbled loudly. "Shut the frag up", Ironhide snarled, outright hostile.

Sarah Lennox's blonde head poked out of Ironhide's door, looking curiously at the red Lamborghini who had spoken. "It's a baby seat", she explained. "For Annabelle." Then she cocked an eyebrow and smiled politely. "You must be... Sideswipe, right? Ironhide told me about you."

A half-stifled snicker sounded from Sideswipe's speakers.

Ironhide shifted an inch forwards. "_One_ word, Sideswipe-"

"Whoa! 'Hide!" Will's voice exclaimed from the back where he and Sam were hoisting the last bag out on the ground. "Stay still!"

Sideswipe snickered again, unable to contain his mirth. "Yeah, 'Hide. Stay still."

"Oh, you little - Sarah, get this... _thing_ out of me!" Ironhide groused, trembling slightly.

Sarah blinked and plunged back into Ironhide's interior. "Right – Mikaela, dear, give me a hand… there." Mikaela dragged the baby seat out of the big pickup truck and Sarah took Annabelle in her arms. Sam and Will backed away with the luggage to give Ironhide the room to transform.

Ironhide started shifting and folding back into his robot form, and the Lamborghini twins followed his example. Bumblebee remained as he was, but reversed a few feet away from his three comrades.

Once his transformation was complete, Ironhide charged his oversized cannons, but kept his hands on his sides. The weapons emitted a high-pitched whirring sound as they rotated. The humans backed away a bit more.

He stared harshly at the twins. Sideswipe was eyeing the baby seat on the asphalt, and judging by the way he kept crumpling his faceplates oddly, still felt like laughing. His brother wasn't intimidated by the fearsome cannons, and if he was, it didn't show.

"_What?_" Sunstreaker asked bluntly after a long, uncomfortable silence.

"Introduce yourselves, you slaggers", Ironhide barked ever so nicely.

"I'm Sideswipe", Sideswipe said immediately and crouched down closer to the Lennoxes. He tilted his head curiously at Sarah. "Are you Captain Lennox's bondmate?"

Little Annabelle didn't seem concerned by the closeness of the red robot – she was occupying herself with the task of trying to shove a bunny plushie into her mouth. Sarah looked mostly lost. "I'm his wife", she managed to say before Sideswipe focused his attention on the baby girl.

"Is that your sparkling?" he asked even with more curiosity. "It's even smaller than you. Is that normal or a glitch?"

"Anna is our daughter, and she's completely healthy", Sarah replied, now frowning slightly and taking a step closer to her husband. Her gaze wandered to the yellow warrior questioningly, who noticed her look.

"Sunstreaker", Sunstreaker said curtly.

"But you can call him Sunny. He loves it." _Clang_. "Ow!"

Will looked at them strangely. "It's... nice to meet you. I guess." His expression changed into confusion and he sniffed the air. "Is that coffee I smell?"

Sunstreaker's optics hardened and he glared icily at Sam, who cringed.

Things could have easily escalated from there, so it was good that Optimus finally decided to show up, emerging from the command center with long strides that shook the ground.

"Captain Lennox", he greeted Will with his deep voice. "Sarah Lennox. Annabelle Lennox. Excellent to see your whole family arrived safely. Apparently you have already been… acquainted with our most recent arrivals." Optimus gave the twins an authoritative look. Sideswipe attempted an innocent smile while Sunstreaker merely folded his arms and defiantly returned the look.

"Yes, Ironhide – um – introduced us."

Optimus nodded and continued: "I apologize for the delay, Captain Lennox. I was held up by a matter that had to be secured before we could provide you lodgings inside the base."

Bumblebee opened a private com link to his leader. "_Not_ _Wheeljack again?_"

"_Red Alert_", was Optimus' brief reply.

"_Ah."_

Will smiled up at the Autobot leader's tall form. "You know, my first name is not 'Captain'. I'm off duty, just call me Will."

"Very well. Sam and Bumblebee know the base and they will guide you to the human quarters. Once you've settled down, I would like to hear your opinion about the base and discuss some arrangements with your military." When Will nodded his acknowledgement, Optimus turned his attention back to the waiting Autobots. "Sideswipe, Sunstreaker, report to Prowl. Ironhide, refuel and accompany Will to the command center when he's ready."

"Bumblebee, take the luggage, will you? I think we'll be walking this time", Mikaela said to the Camaro and lifted the baby seat from the ground as she watched Ironhide leave and follow behind Optimus, grumbling something under his breath.

Sideswipe and Sunstreaker stood within a small distance from them. Sideswipe mimicked his brother and folded his arms. Sunstreaker stared blankly after the weapons specialist.

Then the foreboding grin appeared on the yellow warrior's face, the one that Sideswipe knew very well and which almost always had the result of them ending up in the brig. As much as he knew to be wary of that wicked, devious smirk, it tickled his sensors in a most exciting way. Slowly, he also grinned from audio to audio and shot a glance at the departing Topkick's back.

"_Are you thinking what I'm thinking, Sideswipe?"_

"_Looks like I am, dear brother."_

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_A/N: So… do I really need to tell what the song is?_


	5. Bunny Warrior

Disclaimer: "Transformers" belongs to Hasbro, as much as I would like to own even a small part of them

_Disclaimer: "Transformers" belongs to Hasbro, as much as I would like to own even a small part of them._

_A/N: I took my sweet time with this update, but then again, I already warned you about that… :) Let's get on with it._

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Despite the fact that Red Alert had been eagerly spelling doom for the whole operation, the rest of the evening was mainly uneventful and free of conflicts. Sideswipe and Sunstreaker had cooperated surprisingly well, reported to Prowl and then helped to finish Wheeljack's lab under Ratchet's watchful optic.

Wheeljack himself had given a hand by tinkering with the lab door and trying to get it open on motion sensing, but had only managed to zap himself and the newly installed keypad. The twins had to force the door open after it had gone in an emergency lockdown. The peeved Ratchet had temporarily grounded the engineer in his med bay, where by chance he had happened to find Ratchet's arc welder and wrench superglued to the ceiling. The missing pliers were still nowhere to be found.

Aside from that, it had been relatively quiet.

Almost too quiet.

The new humans hadn't done much anything since they'd arrived in the base. Captain Lennox and his "wife" decided to bunk with the Witwicky boy and Mikaela Banes in the lounge room, while Annabelle Lennox was given the spare bedroom that had been constructed next to the lounge. Red had briefly worried over the small radio-like device the Lennox femme installed near her sparkling's recharge bed, but after listening in to their conversation, he learned that the radio was meant for intercepting any distress signals the little one might send.

Now that Captain Lennox had returned from his meeting with Optimus Prime and the hour was starting to grow late, the humans began to get ready for the night. Annabelle was already in deep recharge and Witwicky looked dangerously close to it, nodding off in front of the tiny TV Captain Lennox had retrieved from their luggage. He jerked awake once when Ratchet dropped by to remind that they all should already be in bed.

Red Alert leaned back in his chair and skimmed thoughtfully over the rest of the base's cameras. Everything was quite normal, and even the Autobots seemed to have chosen to spend the night in recharge. After all, they'd all had a rather long day.

He'd had a long day. He had refused Prime's suggestion to refuel and relax while the humans settled in, and it was starting to take its toll on his systems. He rubbed the sensors in his cranium distractedly, reminding himself that he should go see Ratchet for his regular check-up soon or the CMO would drag him to the med bay.

Maybe it was time for him to have a small break.

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Sunstreaker paced the room impatiently.

"Still nothing?"

"No, at least I don't think so. His giant aft is blocking the view and it hasn't moved an inch." Sideswipe shot his brother a pointed look.

"Shut up. I couldn't do better at the time."

"I thought this was going to be exciting", Sideswipe sulked but turned his attention back to the screen. "Watching Red's backside is not exciting. I wanted to prank someone."

Sunstreaker stopped his pacing. "You were already bit-brained enough to glue those tools to the ceiling. What the frag was that all about?"

"…I was bored?"

"That's exactly what I mean, Sides. This calls for ingenuity and caution. You'd just get us caught, so you'll stay here and keep watch." Sunstreaker grinned. "You'll get your excitement in the morning."

"That is _if_ this- wait! He's getting up!"

Sunstreaker was immediately at his twin's side. "Is he leaving?"

"He left the monitors on… I think he's heading for his quarters." A small thrilled giggle escaped Sideswipe. "He's actually going to recharge! This is perfect!"

Sunstreaker had his wicked smirk on his face again as they watched Red's monitors and listened the base fall asleep around them.

"Let's roll."

0000000000

_Thud._

Sam woke up in a second and realized that he had fallen off the couch.

_Oh, great._

Stretching, Sam sat up and heaved himself back into his makeshift bed. He blinked blearily and scanned the sleeping forms on the lounge's couches. Mikaela and Sarah were still asleep and didn't seem disturbed by his blundering, but Will had apparently already awoken because his side of the couch he and Sarah shared was empty.

_How does he do that?_ Sam thought, yawned and grabbed his cell phone to check the time. Seven-sixteen a.m. Double-great. He had actually started to have the best sleep he'd had in a long while, even with disturbances such as the Autobots' footfalls in the halls, sounds of metal doors opening and closing and the constant hum of machinery inside the building.

He sighed in resignation. No way he would be able to go to sleep anymore. The others would wake up soon anyway. Ratchet was certainly going to have a word or two to say about his sleeping pattern, but he'd just have to take that risk.

Maybe Will had brought a coffeemaker with him to the rec room…

A plan worth trying.

Careful to not wake up Sarah and Mikaela, Sam pulled on his long-sleeved shirt and hopped to the door on one foot, trying to put on his socks and his eyes looking for his shoes at the same time. Despite the season, the early mornings were still not as warm as the days. He spotted his shoes, not quite where he had left them, but maybe Sarah or someone had moved them out of the way last night. Hastily he tied his shoelaces and slipped out from the crack of the door that had been left open for the convenience of the humans.

The halls were empty as he strolled leisurely towards the rec room, but the noise of a quiet conversation grew louder all the time. Sam wondered if any of the Autobots were awake – er – online yet, and peeked curiously into the room.

"Morning", he said to make his presence known. Bumblebee and Wheeljack both turned their heads in his direction.

Bumblebee waved from his place at the table. "_Good morning sunshine_", his speakers blared.

"Samuel! What a pleasant surprise", Wheeljack said good-naturedly and also lifted his hand to wave for him, following the yellow bot's example.

"_Don't take off the hand_, for God's sake! I'm not finished yet!" Will cried at once, balancing dangerously on Wheeljack's right palm while the other had been holding something that looked like a flat-screen TV to the wall. Realizing his mistake, Wheeljack slammed his hand back to the screen. He appeared confused about his inability to express a friendly greeting to the human boy in the doorway, and eventually settled for a nod and happy flashing of his headfins.

"Morning, Sam", Will said, briefly glancing at him from the screen that he was bolting into the wall. "Sorry if we woke you up. We're trying to get the TV to work."

"A TV? Why would you need a TV here?" Sam blurted.

Wheeljack's armor clanked as he shrugged, forcing a "Hey!" out of Will. "I don't know. For fun?" the engineer said casually. "Captain Lennox volunteered to assist me."

Sam let that pass without comment. "Where did you get a TV that big, anyway?"

"I made it", Wheeljack replied proudly. "My lab is finally finished, and I wanted to get a head start. Your culture here on Earth has given me so many ideas and I just can't wait to test them all."

Somehow, that caused a creeping feeling of dread crawl up Sam's spine. "Okay", he just said.

"So, how come you're up this early? I thought you said you were tired", Will asked Sam, wisely steering the conversation away from subjects that could give the Autobot engineer more ideas.

Sam walked to the chair that Bumblebee was sitting on and plopped down on the floor himself, cross-legged and back leaning to one of the chair's feet. "I was, and I am", Sam said, and after a wide yawn continued: "I just woke up and I couldn't get sleep anymore, so I thought I might as well get up. Oh and um… please don't tell Ratchet", he added worriedly, his voice taking on a slightly pleading tone.

Bumblebee's vocal processor made small chirping sounds that sounded like laughter. He looked down at his charge. "I don't think it's a matter of telling Ratchet. He will find out whether we tell him or not."

"Tell me what?"

Their heads all snapped to the yellow-green CMO standing at the door.

"Ratchet!" Wheeljack exclaimed in his friendly way. Bumblebee clicked quietly and slumped slightly in his chair as Ratchet's piercing optics fixed on him.

"Tell me what, youngling?" Ratchet repeated, folding his arms and raising an optic ridge expectantly.

Sam moved, attempting to inch closer to his guardian's foot, but also caught Ratchet's attention by doing so. He almost cringed as the medic's optics flickered briefly and he stepped further into the room.

"Sam Witwicky", Ratchet said in an absolutely deadpan tone. "Why are you not recharging?"

The boy fidgeted nervously, uncomfortably aware of his increased stress levels, heart rate and whatever his treacherous organic body gave away to the medic. He glanced quickly at Will, who returned him a look of pity and then turned back to the TV screen. Even the Captain knew of the Hatchet's reputation and his intolerance for people who disregarded their health so blatantly and against his specific recommendation. Of course, in Ratchet's case, a recommendation was no less than an order.

Sam forced out a half-hearted laugh that was supposed to lighten the mood, but when the CMO didn't seem to find the situation amusing at all, it quickly died away. "See, Ratch – that was an accident, really, a funny thing-"

"Do you think", Ratchet cut the human off, "that I give you medical advice just for my amusement? That I have no reasons whatsoever when I tell you to regenerate your energy for at least nine Earth hours? Do you think", he narrowed his optics in the way that usually preceded a wrench in the cranium, "that I have _nothing_ else to do than look after a stubborn human when he _obviously_ cannot do it himself?"

"I can look after myself!" Sam exclaimed defensively, getting on his feet. "You're flipping over nothing, I told you it's normal! There's nothing wrong with me! All I need is a big cup of strong coffee and I'll be fine."

Ratchet frowned and judging by his silence Sam guessed he was browsing the Internet. From a dawning realization the medic's expression changed into a disapproving frown. "A highly addictive, liquid psychoactive stimulant of the central nervous system", he said gravely.

Sam grimaced. "You make it sound bad."

"Do you have any idea what an energy source like that does to your systems?"

Wheeljack chuckled. "Give him a break, Ratchet", he said.

"This is no laughing matter, Wheeljack", Ratchet stated seriously.

"Yes!" Will's voice shouted triumphantly. "I think it's working now."

Wheeljack's rapt attention was immediately on the human who was supporting himself by clinging to his thumb. "Good work", Wheeljack complimented.

Grateful and relieved of the momentary distraction, Sam looked up at the flat screen. Wheeljack backed away from the it with Will still on his palm, both watching as the display crackled and the distorted image flickered on and off.

"…Cartoon Network?" Sam asked uncertainly after the flickering had decreased enough for him to see the icon in the picture's corner.

Will was frowning. "The signal could be better."

They all watched for a moment in silence as the image cleared. Even Ratchet seemed to be slightly interested.

The screen went dark, eliciting an exasperated sigh from Will. "I thought I had it", he muttered, but then perked up again as the image appeared again. "Oh, good – wait, what?"

The signal was perfectly clear now, Sam could see that even from his point of view, but it certainly wasn't Cartoon Network. It took him a second to figure out that what he was looking at was in fact the very same hall where the rec room and the living quarters were located. A date and time burned in the corner in bright red letters. 03:06 a.m. _Red Alert's cameras_, Sam realized, utterly confused. _Why would the TV display those? And the recordings, no less?_

A small figure was moving across the hall, dragging something large and heavy-looking and heading straight towards the Autobots' private quarters. When it stopped in front of one door, Sam blinked in disbelief. The figure was _him_.

"Whuh?" he blurted intelligently.

Everyone's gaze was at the little Witwicky on the video who was now pushing open the door to (_Oh shit_, Sam thought) the weapons specialist's room. Sam was stunned. _Who_-

"What the frag, Sam?" Ratchet asked bluntly, being the first one to speak.

"Why did you go into Ironhide's room?" Will inquired with an astonished voice. "In the middle of the _night?_"

"Looks like I discovered the reason to your lack of proper recharge", Ratchet said icily, glaring down at Sam, who had absolutely no idea what was going on.

Suddenly everyone fell silent as a very loud roar of rage echoed in the hall outside the rec room. Sam froze, feeling his heart jumping into his throat with a few backflips as the voice was soon followed by thundering footsteps that literally shook the floor he was standing on.

_Oh shit_, he thought again as his brain processed the voice and identified its owner.

0000000000

"What a beautiful morning", Sideswipe drawled smugly, leaned his back on the wall and looked up to the light cerulean sky.

His twin looked up too. They were both outside, lounging near the doors of the command center. Sunstreaker checked his internal chronometer and smiled slyly. "The timer will go off soon", he said.

"You think the rest are still in recharge?"

"We just have to wait and see."

Sideswipe's shoulders sagged. "I don't like waiting."

"Hm", Sunstreaker merely hummed. He boosted his audio receptors and listened intently for a while, and then let a grin spread on his faceplates. "Sides", he said and nudged his brother with his elbow, "you may not have to wait that long after all."

The terrible, feral roar that reached the pair's audios in the next moment could no doubt be heard all the way in Tranquility.

"_THE BOY!_ WITWICKY!"

Sideswipe snickered. "Primus, he sure sounds ticked."

"I want to see this", Sunstreaker said and shifted so that he could have a clear vantage point to the building where the show was currently taking place, a devilish smirk playing on his face.

Sideswipe followed close behind. "Move your shiny aft", he said cheerily and craned his neck to see around his brother's shoulder.

"Watch the paint, slaggit!"

"Mute it, Sunshine. Something's happening."

Detecting movement at the hangar's large front doors, the two Lamborghinis nailed their optics at the small figure of a human that tore out of the building as quickly as his short organic legs carried him. He had managed to sprint good ten yards until the bulky black form of an irate weapons specialist stormed out, face contorted in a scowl and cannons whirring.

The said cannons were stuffed full with fluffy and brightly colored objects, which on closer inspection seemed to be a large number of tightly compressed plushies. A few of them flopped sadly to the ground as Ironhide raised his right arm and took aim.

A short barrage of those soft projectiles was released upon the fleeing figure of Sam Witwicky. He yelped and did a sharp 90-degree turn, shielding his head with his arms as the half-scorched bunnies and teddybears plopped harmlessly onto the asphalt around him. "_Optimus!_" he cried and made a beeline to the command center. "Save me! A psycho bunny warrior!"

"Ironhide, for Primus' sake! Stop shooting at him, you slaghead!"

The Autobot medic appeared from the rec room and nearly tackled his furious cannon-wielding comrade, trying to wrestle his right-hand weapon to point at the ground. Bumblebee soon joined the party, grabbing the larger mech's left arm.

Ironhide flailed, the poor abused plushies scattering around in the process and one bouncing off Bumblebee's armor. "Let go! I deserve my revenge!" he bellowed.

"I've told you already! No shooting unless it's a Decepticon!" Ratchet snarled.

Ironhide growled, yanked his left arm free from Bumblebee's grasp and shoved the cannon to the medic's face. "Look!" he demanded, giving it a shake that released another shower of toys. "Look what he did to my _cannons!_"

Sam braked and took a moment to catch his breath. "It wasn't me!" he hollered back. "I was asleep!"

"The _whole base_ saw what you did, boy! The fragging video was on every single visual receiver! How would you like if I shoved one of these – _things_ up _your_ exhaust port?" Ironhide tried to shake his arm-cannon threateningly at the human, but found it difficult due to Bumblebee hanging on it.

That made Ratchet blink his optics. "You had a thing shoved up your exhaust port?" he asked with a hint of incredulity and amusement in his voice.

"_Of course I didn't!_" Ironhide roared, starting his flailing again. Sam jumped and backed away a couple of feet.

Bumblebee sniggered, catching Ironhide's attention. His head swiveled angrily at the smaller yellow bot. "_What_ is so slagging funny?!" he barked.

That only caused the Camaro to start laughing louder, earning a disapproving look from Ratchet. "Ironhide", Bumblebee wheezed hoarsely, having great difficulty in keeping his grip on the Topkick's arm, "are you _crying?_"

Ironhide blinked too, slowly lowering his arms. "What the-", he began, and then froze completely as his audios registered something over the hum of his overheated systems that did not belong. He lowered his gaze to stare down at his chassis where the sound was coming from and all the time increasing in volume.

Someone _was_ crying. Wailing, to put it more accurately. But Sam was ready to bet the contents of his treasure chest that it most certainly was not Ironhide, who was wearing an irritated expression and narrowing his optics while trying to determine the source of the high-pitched sobbing.

Sam felt the bubbling sensation of laughter making its way up from his abdomen, and wasn't able to stop the sputter of laughter that escaped him in time. He clamped his hands on his mouth to muffle the sound, but two pairs of blue optics, Ironhide's and Ratchet's, were already on him. The owner of the third pair had already given up on his attempt to hold on to Ironhide's left arm and had wobbled backwards, clutching his sides and chirping and wheezing from laughter.

Either Annabelle Lennox had mysteriously decided to snuggle inside the weapons specialist's chassis, or…

"The baby alarm", Sam gasped from the strain of trying to hold his giggles inside, but failed miserably. A dangerous glint appeared in the large black mech's optics and he opened and closed his fists.

"The baby alarm", Sam tittered, oblivious to the threat in the mech's demeanor. "_Inside_ you."

"_Hilarious_", Ironhide seethed venomously.

The wailing suddenly stopped and reduced to only barely audible soft sobbing. Bumblebee perked up and listened as the sounds changed. There was a short silence and then the familiar voice of Sarah Lennox crackled from inside Ironhide's chest.

"_Oh no, baby, don't cry. Mommy's here. Did you miss Mommy?"_

Sam was sure he saw Ironhide's optic twitch.

"_Does my baby need a hug?"_

Both Sam and Bumblebee collapsed with laughter at the very same moment. Even Ratchet looked amused, his lip gently curling upwards.

"WITWICKY!"

"_Who's a cute girl? Who's a cute girl?"_

Ironhide let out an unholy roar or fury again and raised his now free left arm, training the weapon and its cuddly projectiles on the human and instantly having Ratchet wrestle him once more. Making a hybrid sound of a panicked yelp and a snicker, Sam took off in the command center's direction.

In their vantage point the twins were recovering from the fits of giggles they had been having during the whole incident. Sideswipe was slumped against the wall, gasping to cycle air to his cooling system while Sunstreaker was grinning at the running figure of Sam Witwicky.

"I heard he played tag with old Megs, but Primus, he really _is_ a fast runner", Sunstreaker confessed. "One hundred percent success, Sides."

"There's only one more thing to do."

Sunstreaker glanced at his red twin questioningly.

Sideswipe straightened his back and smiled confidently. "I know I could use my morning Energon right about now", he said and left the shade of the large hangar building.

0000000000

_A/N:__ Can the twins get away with this? Is Sam doomed? Did Ironhide have a thing up his exhaust port? Who is Cyclonus' Armada? Find out in the next episode! (Or not!)_

_The song is "Good Morning Sunshine" by Aqua._

_(Didn't think it was necessary, but apparently for legal reasons: the song in the previous chapter was "Oops! I Did It Again" by Britney Spears.)_


	6. The Pranksters

_Disclaimer: "Transformers" belongs to Hasbro, as much as I would like to own even a small part of them._

_A/N: __Woo, my first year in art college is finished and I got top grades from my final work! So, the hard work paid off. Now I've got the whole summer to do my own stuff. I'm going to draw until my fingers cramp._

_The final chapter, where Sunstreaker reveals his true agenda and where the twins get what they had already coming._

0000000000

Okay, Sam could admit it had been pretty fun at first to see the plushies fly around, and Ironhide's face when he realized where the disembodied voices were coming from would no doubt make him laugh for a while, but having a giant alien robot _shoot_ at him was not fun in the least, even if the projectiles were soft and none of them actually had yet managed to hit him.

He just wished that Sarah Lennox would turn the baby alarm off already.

"God – damnit – 'Hide – _stop!_" Sam half giggled, sidestepping the soft animals. "'Bee! Do something!"

Sarah's voice cooed quietly somewhere inside Ironhide's chest cavity, causing Bumblebee to collapse into another silent fit of laughter. Now the cannons quickly spun to point at the yellow scout instead.

"Slaggit, Ironhide!" Ratchet almost shouted, latching onto the Topkick's arm again. "Don't make me offline your cannons!"

Ironhide froze and stared at the medic. "You wouldn't."

"Just try me", the CMO shot back. "I could do a _lot_ worse."

The weapons specialist grunted and lowered his arms, throwing a glance at Sam's direction. "The kid wouldn't be worth it anyway", he grumbled grouchily, but obeyed the medic and settled for picking at the remaining plushies clinging to his cannons.

None of them had noticed that they had audience. Will had taken himself a spot from the rec room building's doorway, standing with his arms folded across his chest and observing the ongoing situation with a raised eyebrow. Wheeljack stood behind him with the flat screen from before in the crook of his arm, doing the same.

"I know I could offer some rational insight on the situation but I doubt anyone would listen to me", Will stated simply, squinting his eyes against the sun.

The engineer, who the Captain had quickly befriended, looked down at the human. "I am afraid you're right, Captain Lennox. I shall contact Prowl." Wheeljack shifted the monitor in his arms. "Right after dropping this off at my lab. I need to take a more thorough look at it."

"You do that", Will agreed, observing the scene on the yard. "I have a feeling that we need him to knock some sense into their heads." Wheeljack nodded and left.

As the engineer departed, Will noticed a red figure approaching him and giving the other bots a wide berth by walking along the yard's side. The red Lamborghini flashed him a wide smile when he reached the building's shade. Will recognized one of the infamous twins and looked back with a growing feeling of suspicion but remained silent.

"Some show, huh?" Sideswipe said lightly. "Though if I were them, I'd call Prime before _he_ shorts a circuit." He inclined his head towards the communications center and with that disappeared into the hangar.

Will looked and sighed at the sight of the figure that briskly stormed out. "Oh no."

_Oh no_, Sam also thought when he saw the same as Will heading towards him.

"Oh, Primus", Ratchet mumbled. Bumblebee turned to look and chirped in alarm.

"_You! Human!_ Stop right there!"

"Some show indeed", Will muttered, straightened himself and ran off to join Ratchet and Ironhide.

0000000000

"What did I tell you? I just _knew_ something like this would happen if we allowed humans to this base!"

The Autobot leader resisted the urge to facepalm at the heated, triumphant tone of his Security Director. "Red Alert", Optimus began diplomatically, "I know you take your job seriously, but surely you can see that you're acting irrationally."

"With all due respect, Prime, sir, but don't you understand? This is a serious breach of security!" Red Alert's hand gestured to the direction of one of the command center's smaller monitors where the mysterious surveillance tape was playing on loop. "He's just a human, how was he able to do that?"

"Red, I'm seriously starting to suspect that you have a glitch in your logic chips", Ratchet said in his curt way. "This is ridiculous. We all know you do not like humans. If this were just another prank by the Twins, you wouldn't be reacting like this."

"My cannons didn't fill _themselves_", Ironhide grunted, crossing his arms that looked oddly naked without the monstrous weapons. Ratchet had been forced to detach said cannons from his forearms in order to separately pluck off all the offending toys that stubbornly stuck into the smallest moving parts. That'd also keep Ironhide out of trouble for a while, as Will had commented.

Ratchet nailed the Topkick with a sharp glare. "That was no excuse to go on a fragging _rampage._ Even you should have enough sense to realize that. You owe Sam an apology."

"Why? No one got hurt."

"You _fired_ at him!"

"If I had meant to hit him, I would have."

"I did _not_ do it, how many times do I have to say that?" Sam piped up defensively from his safe spot on the floor near Bumblebee, who stood behind him, as if daring anyone to touch his charge.

Red narrowed his optics. "It's no use to lie anymore. You have been caught red-handed!" He jabbed an accusing finger at the human boy.

"And yet you still don't wonder how this happened, Red Alert?" Prowl's low, steady voice drifted from the command center's doorway where he'd been quietly observing the argument.

"It's all on tape, Prowl. Sir. The video was everywhere – even I saw it in my office! All the evidence points to the human."

"That is my point exactly", Prowl said calmly and stepped forward to stand beside his Commander. "How could a mere human possibly achieve such physical tasks as demonstrated on the tape? And how would you explain that your supposedly private surveillance tapes ended up on every visual receiver in the base?"

"The mere human is still in the room", Sam muttered under his breath, but was largely ignored. Bumblebee clicked disdainfully as he turned to stare demandingly at Red.

Prowl's question was followed by an uncomfortable silence. After his momentary hesitation Red Alert collected himself and crossed his arms expectantly. "Very well", he huffed, "I suppose you have an explanation of your own then."

Prowl exchanged a glance with Optimus. Then the tactician turned back to Red and simply nodded. "Yes I do. This – prank – has required the strength, means and wit that a single human cannot possess. My suspects are on their way as we speak and should be here right about… now."

"Whatever this is about now, it'd better be important. I didn't even finish my Energon! Ironhide, what's up? Good grief, what happened to your cannons?"

Sideswipe's cheerful greeting didn't seem to impress Ironhide, whose face darkened and he emitted a low growl as the Lambo twins entered the command center. Sam's face fell and he mumbled something along the lines of "not those two" and moved closer to Bumblebee.

Red Alert blinked his optics in surprise. "What is this, Prowl? You _are_ aware that there is no eligible proof that-"

"It is the only logical conclusion."

"And what are we 'logically' accused of this time?" Sunstreaker cut in, voice dripping with sarcasm.

Prowl gave the yellow Lamborghini a steady glare. "There's no need for that, Sunstreaker. You already know why you're here."

"That's right, we do", Sideswipe said before his brother could reply. "Why is it that every time when something happens, you blame us? It's not very nice, you know." The red Lamborghini looked insulted.

"A sparkling could see that this is not the work of a human", Ratchet pointed out, both for the twins and Red Alert.

"So? How does that make it our fault? Where is your proof?"

Prowl made the mech equivalent of clearing his throat. "Are you saying that you have nothing to do with this incident?"

"I have no idea whatsoever what you are talking about, Prowl", Sideswipe said nonchalantly, waving the question off.

"I do."

Every head in the room snapped to face Sunstreaker, who stood beside his twin, calm and collected, indifferently inspecting a nonexistent ding in his left arm. He glanced up and saw everyone staring at him. He sighed resignedly. "I tried to stop him, of course, but you know how he's like…" He slowly shook his head. "When Sides is bored, everyone suffers the consequences. Including me, it seems."

Sideswipe looked extremely taken aback by this. He gaped at his brother, blue optics wide. Then he looked at Prowl. And then back at Sunstreaker and frowned. "What?" he asked incredulously. Then he turned back to his audience again, the broad, innocent smile instantly appearing on his faceplates. "Sunny's such a fun fellow!" he said brightly and quite forcefully nudged the yellow Lamborghini's side with his elbow. "Shut your fragging mouth, Sunny. This isn't the time for jokes." Another grin.

Ironhide took a step forward. "If you two Pit-spawns even touched my cannons…" he growled forebodingly, balling his hands into fists. At his feet, Will Lennox backpedaled swiftly, sensing a hint of violence in the air.

"What's with you and those cannons anyway?" Sideswipe countered quickly. "By the way you act one would think you have half of your central processor hooked to them…"

"Say that again, you little-"

"Calm down, 'Hide", Will warned his guardian, still inching closer to Ratchet's foot.

"Ironhide, please", Optimus interrupted. When Ironhide grunted and crossed his arms again, he turned to the yellow warrior. "Explain, Sunstreaker."

"I'm tired of always being accused of your pranks, Sides. It is time you began taking the responsibility for them yourself", Sunstreaker said, pulling on a grave expression and looking firmly at his brother.

Sideswipe looked shocked. "This is unbelievable! Don't even try to put the blame on me, you aft, it was _your_ idea!"

"Like gluing those tools to the ceiling was my idea, too?"

"Oh, that's _it!_"

This time Optimus actually did facepalm. "Prowl, you know how to handle this", he said wearily. "Looks like this is going to take some time. Red Alert, I trust you and Wheeljack will be able to fix whatever's been jamming the security network."

"Yes, sir", the Security Director muttered, clearly disappointed that all his carefully thought theories were so effortlessly proved wrong. As if blaming Sam for ruining his big moment, he threw an annoyed look at the boy's direction. Bumblebee was smart enough not to talk back to his superior officer, but even he chirped smugly at the look on Red's face.

Red Alert clenched his jaw and turned to leave, but stopped and glanced back, scanning the command center with his optics and frowning lightly. "Where is he, anyway?"

"Wheeljack?" Will asked, perking up.

Ratchet shifted uncomfortably behind him. "My medic sense is tingling", he announced ominously, lifting and tilting his head as if listening intently.

"He told me he was going to drop the TV off at his-"

_BOOM_

The explosion was strong enough to make the ground tremble. While the present humans looked mostly startled, Ratchet only sighed exasperatedly, his shoulders slumping. "What did I tell you", he groaned. "_How_ in Primus' name was he able to blow up a _television?_"

0000000000

"You should have _been_ there, Ratchet", Wheeljack rambled happily.

"I'm rather glad I weren't", Ratchet grumbled as he connected two wires in the unfortunate engineer's right arm. "You're lucky you only blew off half of your arm. Try moving the hand."

"I don't know how I hadn't figured it out sooner", Wheeljack continued and wiggled his index finger. "Only this finger works. Ratchet, this might actually be the breakthrough for that force field project I abandoned a long time ago!" He was almost bouncing on the berth he was sitting on inside the med bay.

"I'm very interested to hear how you ended up installing a force field for a TV, and why didn't you take cover when it caught on fire, as you tell me", Ratchet said coolly, prodding some neural ends inside the engineer's shoulder and watching Wheeljack's middle finger twitch.

"Oh – you see, the funny thing is that the new force field also happened to be magnetic, and – well – it sort of got attached to my hand. I didn't expect it to do that, to be honest." Wheeljack craned his neck to look at his shoulder that Ratchet was working on but the back of his head was seized by the medic's hand. "What are you doing?" he asked confusedly.

"Looking for your motor functions switch. I need to turn it off so you'll stop jerking while I'm trying to patch up your sorry aft."

Wheeljack stiffened. "I won't move, I promise."

"You'd better not."

The CMO worked in blessed silence for a while.

"Ratchet?"

"_What?_"

"How did the little incident involving young Samuel and Ironhide go?"

"Solved."

"Really? How?"

"The twins."

"Ah."

0000000000

"I can't believe you turned your back on me like that, Sunny." Sideswipe's voice was full of feigned hurt.

"I'm sure you would have done the same for me, dear brother."

"I'm glad no one believed you though. It would've been dull to sit down here all alone." When there was no reply, Sideswipe went on: "To try to frame me like that… Primus, Sunny, that was an indescribably dirty trick. You almost succeeded, you know? An admirable feat. I would shake your hand if we weren't in separate cells."

"Shut the frag up already."

"Why so glum? You didn't actually think we'd get away with this, did you? It _was_ your idea, after all. You and your stupid 'revenge'."

"It wasn't all about revenge."

"What, then?"

"I don't know. I was bored?"

"That's a cheap excuse." Sideswipe's voice sounded distasteful.

"It's not an excuse. You get bored, too. Who shouldn't I be bored once in a while?"

"Because it's not like you", Sideswipe whined. "_I_ get all the blame."

Sunstreaker grunted in the opposite cell. "Good. Then you know how I feel every time _you_ get into trouble and I get pulled along."

Sideswipe huffed. "Fine. You act grumpy then. I still think it was pretty impressive. That fake video of yours was truly professional work."

"Flattery won't get you out of the slag you're in when we get out of here."

"Oh come on, Sunny. You shouldn't be angry at me, it should be the other way round – I at least tried to keep up the good act. But you just _had_ to blow it, didn't you?" Sideswipe sighed in mock defeat and sat down on the berth in his cell. "How much do you think Prowl would appreciate a new paintjob?" he wondered aloud.

"_No_, Sideswipe."

He grinned at the pair of narrowed bright blue optics in the opposite cell. "Whatever you say." He snickered. "I'd like to see Prowler's face when he finds the bill for all those toys."

"And I'd like to see _your_ face when he gives you triple shift in exchange."

"Spoilsport."

Sideswipe went silent again, until a brilliant realization dawned on him and caused his lips to turn into a mischievous smirk. "Well, at least some benefit came from this stunt. Besides the business with the human toys, I mean."

There was a long pause in Sunstreaker's cell, during which Sideswipe's grin only grew wider, knowing that he had caught his twin's interest. "And what might that be?" Sunstreaker then asked tentatively.

Sideswipe chuckled. "Red hasn't found out about the spy camera yet…"

0000000000

_A/N: __The __**end**__! It is the end! No moar! This is already much longer than it was first supposed to be when I started it. It's just a crack fic. Ignore the stupidity, please._

_Well, even after all this time, we didn't find out who exactly is Cyclonus' Armada, but… uh…__ that's because I have no clue._

_**Billion of t**__**hanks to every single blessed, beautiful souls who read this, commented and favourited!**__ I haven't replied to all comments, but know that I do read them all! Thank you!_


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